I’ve written quite a bit here about our change of church this past year. That was a huge change in our life, but we have embraced it with faith and gusto and have found a lovely new church home and family at Westminster Presbyterian.
Another change I’ve been dealing with is friendship. Those of you who have been with me for so many years will remember that I had two long time friends, going back to the time of our daughter’s birth, 37 years ago. We had met at our workplace and forged this bond that seemed fail-proof. Here we are, back in the late 90s, at a birthday lunch.
At Thanksgiving, 2011, one of the three died, and it was up to the remaining two to clean out her home and get the estate ready for the attorney to settle. Then the other friend’s husband got a bad case of shingles and things really changed. All of this within a few months, and it has never regained its old stability. We hardly ever see each other. The other friend is not on social media, refuses to text and seldom reads her email. Due to her husband’s illness and need for constant attention, she can’t even talk on the phone. I have tried going by their home a few times, but felt thwarted in that they seem to want to remain secluded.
When we have talked, I get the feeling that she does not want much contact with others and finds it difficult to make plans or to try to go out. I’ve left the ball in her court only to find it lies there for months. I recently sent her an email and got a reply but no other word to my reply, saying “yes, let’s go to lunch. You call me and tell me a good time.”
I miss my friends. The one who has died is gone and is not coming back, but I’m beginning to feel the same about the one who is still living. It is a change that I’m having trouble grasping.