Another day, another miscreant

On Thursday I got to the cafeteria just as one of the first grade teachers was bringing in a little boy who I have been trying to help. He has impulse control issues, and due to another flare-up, he was to sit in the cafeteria and miss recess.

I sat by him and asked what had happened. Somebody had taken his place in line. These little guys can be so territorial, and they will fight to the death to defend their territory. That’s what had happened this time. He had kicked the interloper.

“Is that the best way to solve the problem?” I asked.

Being pretty smart, he answered with what he knew I wanted to hear, “No.”

“What should you have done?”

“But he got in my place in line.”

“So? Just go the next place in line, or really shock him and go to the end of the line.”

“But it’s my place in line.”

“B, you are what I call a ‘right-fighter. You are right, it’s your place in line, but if he steps into it, and he won’t move when you ask him to, you cannot hit or kick him. We don’t settle our disputes that way.”

“But it’s my place in line.”

This is one battle I’m not going to win. So I stepped away and quit the discussion.

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12 responses to “Another day, another miscreant

  1. Sigh. This is a hard one, all right. You were not going to win. Poor kid. 😦

  2. You are right, kids are very territorial. I deal with this every day. Was he upset that he missed recess? Facing consequences for his decision is really the only thing you can do, and maybe missing enough recesses will help?

    • He really doesn’t mind missing recess as it gets him away from the kids with whom he fights. And there is usually an adult around who will pay him some attention.

  3. ROFLMAO! Bless his heart, that is a tough one but, in all fairness, the other little boy should have been made to miss recess as well.

  4. Oh, kids like that develop into grownups with a problem if they don’t find another path. I hope he does.

    • Exactly. “Right fighters” will likely become violent adults or very obnoxious adults at best. This little guy needs help. I’ve asked the school therapist to try to help him.

  5. Of course the interloper is wrong, and deserves a good kick. Bullies do what they do because they can get away with it. Perhaps the world would be a better place if a righteous kick was not criticized. When Jesus was angry for a righteous reason, he took action. Just ask those money sellers in the temple.

    • Dianne there are many who deserve a good kick, but we cannot retaliate in such a manner, no matter how much we would like to. Two shootings, two killings, in Fresno on Sunday. Right fighters taking their revenge.

      • Perhaps kicking must be corrected,however the boy who cut in also needs correcting. He’s the one who will learn he can get way with bullying. The other boy, the kicker, simply learned adults are unfair so why listen to them.

        BTW I bounced this off David who worked as a counselor for a long time and he agrees with me.

      • PS my granddaughter just won a case in court, brought by a passive aggressive bully who has spent his life doing things that cause others to retaliate. Fortunately, the judge saw things her way. (My posts, life lessons and Justice).

        The Fresno shooters may have been people looking out for “their rights.” The question we need to ask is why do they feel they need to seek justice in that way? Probably because they have never received it any other way.

  6. Pingback: Oh, this week | Dkzody's Weblog

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