Conversations

It was after 7 this morning before I rolled out of bed. Very unusual for me. The night had been spent with wild and crazy dreams which may have made me more tired than rested. I awoke thinking about the dreams and wondering where some of the material for them came from. Then I remembered. I had a number of serious conversations the last few days with a variety of people. My mind had jumbled all those conversations into a long stream of dreams.

I was out early Monday morning, running errands. I like to start early, right after 8:30 and be home by 11. During the drive between stops a friend left a message on my phone letting me know she was hospitalized. When I arrived at my next stop I called her and we talked for about a half hour. She is hospitalized, having gone for heart tests on Friday that in turn required her heart to be restarted TWICE. She faces open-heart surgery today. She also faces a long recuperation and rehabilitation period. It makes me sad as she is the same age as my husband. She has smoked and eaten badly all of her adult life. The heart surgeon told her that almost every patient he operates on has been a smoker.

After finishing my errands and coming home I found a message on the home answering machine from my sister who I had not heard from in months. We live in the same town but rarely see one another. She celebrated her 82nd birthday last week, and I had sent her a card with a photograph of Terry and me. My sister does not have a computer so there is no way of keeping her apprised of what we do except by phone/snail mail. After the birthday celebrations with her grandchildren and visits from her great grandchildren, she had time to sit and talk for awhile.

A couple in our church celebrated their 61st wedding anniversary on Sunday. I chatted with them about their achievement and how so many did not reach that number. We also talked about how so many of the younger people are not even getting married any more, taking their chances with the legal quandaries that can come about without the legal documentation. I’ve seen that with children at school whose parents never married, especially if the birth father’s name is not on their birth certificate. It can cause havoc with their life should something happen to one of the parents.

My sister got married shortly after I was born, and had she and her first husband remained married, they would be celebrating their 65th anniversary later this year. I brought this up while chatting with her on the phone, telling her about the couple who has been married 61 years. She marveled at that and said she admired those who could make it in a marriage, long-term. Her first husband is still alive but doing very poorly, health-wise. Her second husband, who was abusive, has been out of the picture for a long time and we never even mention his name, but the knowledge of his one-time existence in her life, and the reason for her diminished lifestyle, is still there, nonetheless. It was a bad decision to marry him and get his name legally attached to hers. I tried to dissuade her, but you know, people in love never see what others see. Perhaps it is better to just live together.

And the final conversation jangling around in my head is that of homeless people, especially the elderly and those with mental issues. I was discussing the importance of having a network, a support system, when one gets older. What happens to those without family or friends who develop dementia and can no longer care for themselves, but no one is around to witness the progression and get help for the person? The other two people in the conversation were telling me the difficulty of getting conservatorship and getting help for those in that situation.

On top of the conversations, also bouncing around in my head are plans for coffee fellowship after church next Sunday. I am in charge of the refreshments and  I have a Valentine’s theme in mind. That’s what part of my errand-running was about, getting supplies. Those plans got dumped in with the various conversations and made my dreams hectic and chaotic. I’m staying home today as the weather forecast calls for another rain storm. At least it’s warm–60 degrees this morning.

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5 responses to “Conversations

  1. I’ll bet those were some doozies, those dreams, considering your recent conversations. At least you got a few hours of decent sleep; glad you stayed in bed in order to get some rest! 🙂

    • I awoke to discover the house alarm had not been set. Had I known that during the night, I would have panicked as I had heard some very strange noises. Turned out, one of the cats had knocked a binder from a table, making a loud thud. I assumed all was fine b/c the alarm would have gone off had there been an intruder. Hah.

  2. wow that is a lot of news to handle, at least you were able to get to sleep with all the excitement! Thanks for the interesting observations.

  3. Oh my, I’m worn out just reading about all those conversations. I used to have 4 cousins, much older than me, that I felt obligated to call and check on. I was always exhausted when that task was over.

    Where we lived in Texas there is something called Guardianship Services. Bob and I were both volunteers in this program for a number of years. The clients have come to the attention of the courts through various situations, some deserted on the hospitals, some elderly abuse cases, some mental health, and some from homeless shelters. We would be appointed by a judge to be the guardian of one of those people. Believe me we have some interesting tales to tell. Almost all of them are sad. Families and society can be very cruel. Occasionally there was a bright spot but not many. We were in charge of their health care appointments and everything else they needed , including arranging their burial upon death.

    • One of the people in the conversation about the homeless and the elderly also worked with guardianship and conservatorship cases. He said it was not an easy situation.

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