Evening

I’ve written before about my sadness, almost to the point of despair, in the evening. The past few months have seen some improvement. Although still not very vivacious, I’m at least not so sad as the day ends. I grow quieter and there is still no desire to go out late in the day, or to be among people. The feeling of anxiety is not as prevalent but I’m still not feeling scoial.

Terry and I have early dinners, finishing with cleanup shortly after 6 p.m. We watch the news and then a couple of recorded tv shows. That’s about all I can handle, two programs. Then I read until 8:30 or so when I close my eyes and drift off to sleep, within moments of lying down. I am not one of those who cannot get to sleep.

Perhaps sleep is an escape mechanism for me. Perhaps that’s my method of coping with the stress of the day and the inability to end the day on a more positive note. I really would like to be able to have the same positive thoughts and behavior in the evening as I do in the morning. To be upbeat. To feel optimistic. It excites me to have the whole day ahead of me. I cannot feel the same about the night. I feel no excitement. Escape into sleep is my solution.

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6 responses to “Evening

  1. I’ve always felt sad with the approach of evening light myself. But I hope you are really ok, it’s good to talk about it. Real depression is dangerous, it could even be chemical.

  2. I don’t suffer from depression, but I do find sleep to be something I begin to crave just about 7:00pm. I usually struggle to stay up until 8:00 but I also escape into sleep and have vivid dreams. You are not alone.

    • DJan, you are probably like me, not someone who takes naps, and with busy days that start early, we’re tired at the end of the day. One day last week I had done very little during the day and found I was not tired and sleepy that night. It was one night I had trouble falling asleep.

  3. I go straight to sleep, too, and sleep nine to ten hours. It makes my doctor happy.

  4. I wish sleep came easy to me. Most nights I find myself still wide awake long after midnight.

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