Making friends wherever you go

How do you make new friends? This has become a topic of discussion in my brain (and with my husband) lately. Whether remaining where you’ve lived for a long time, or in the case of a friend, moving to a new city, there is a need to make new friends. Even those who say, “I have all the friends I need,” can use more friends. And those who have few to none, then it’s really critical to figure out a way to make new friends.

It’s good to have lots of friends, but as I’ve recently found, friends die or disappear. That has been the case here, for me, in the last couple of years. Fortunately, I have met new people and some have become friends. I would like to further develop the friendships, but in the case of younger friends, they have busy lives with jobs and families so time is limited. I’m taking it slow and easy with those new friends.

A friend of mine has moved two hours away, to a city where she knows no one. That can offer quite an adventure in making new friends, but now she has become ill and needs friends to rally around her and come to her aid. There aren’t any and the distance makes it hard for the old friends to do so. I would make the suggestion to anyone planning to move away from their friends, be sure there are places you can go to make new friends before you make that move.

Another acquaintance, who I would like to consider a friend but whose actions make me wonder, has few to no one in her life. She has recently needed emotional support and there just isn’t anyone nearby to provide it. Because I’m a problem-solver, every time she calls on me, I want to offer solutions to the  problems she has called about. But solutions are not what she wants. She never takes any advice and just keeps doing what she’s always done. Maybe new friends could offer better support than I can.

I have a wonderful group of friends who I can call on, and I’m thankful for those friends. However, I want to add more. Through volunteer activities I am meeting more people so I have hope of building on those relationships. Any new friends in your life? How did you make them? Have you moved and found it hard to connect and make friends? What advice would you make to someone who needs more friends in their life? Of course, as I wrote earlier, advice is not always taken!


13 responses to “Making friends wherever you go

  1. I have no problem meeting people. People seem to gravitate to me because I’m friendly, they’ve come to like how I live my life having watched as I maintained my spiritual integrity and displayed a positive attitude when faced with racism and abuse of authority in work situations, always smiling, greeting others with whom I come in eye contact, even now that I’m retired, here on the complex, at the market. There’s a joy that goes out from me wherever I go and people are drawn to it. So, I can say I know a lot of people, many of whom tell me how much they appreciate my friendship, but none I can say are true friends. There is not one person in my life I feel I can call on for help, rely upon in an emergency, not even my own family and this goes back to as far as I can recall, even to when I called a woman I’d just met for assistance when my own mother came up with an excuse as to why she couldn’t/wouldn’t. And that woman had just come back from burying her father. Consequently, though there is not one human I really consider “friend” that can be called upon, I’ve learned that I can count on the Universe to provide for whatever and whenever — a person and a way will be shown to me. There’s a verse I recall from a book on living a spiritual life which says that when we rely on the Universe (God) rather than expecting it to come from a human friend “It’s not like we will see angels walking around, but the people who come will seem like angels to us and we will seem so to them”.

  2. I tend to stick with old friends from high school. In fact, we plan to meet for lunch next month.

    • Wow, from high school. That’s amazing. I don’t have contact with any of the people I went to high school with. Of course, my graduating class had only 99 and many of those have since died due to war and drugs. I have recently made contact with the sister of a classmate. The classmate has passed on and his sister is friends with some of my FB friends so I made the connection. That’s as close as I come to anyone from my childhood.

  3. Friends come about in your work and hobbies I think.

  4. I agree completely with Shirley. i too attract people because of my smiling face and kind, friendly demeanor. But I would not call any of them friends.
    Raised as an only child, I don’t really miss people and three of my closest friends have passed on. So I am really quite happy with my aloneness and my imagination.

  5. I don’t think you can ever have too many friends.

  6. I keep trying but am not a success. I used to feed hoards for dinners, and I still remember most of them with real fondness. They are mostly dead. Other friends live scattered all over the world now. I love my George, but he is a loner. I keep trying and have a wonderful number of acquaintances now.

    • Death seems to wipe out lots of our friends. Distance, too. It takes an effort to keep in touch and I have found some of the old people I know no longer to make the effort to do that.

  7. I moved from Colorado ten years ago and first joined the YMCA and the Senior Activity Center. I’ve made many dear friends through these places and activities, and those I hike with have become friends who would help me through any problems I might have. I also believe the adage that “when you are ready, the guru appears,” which can also apply to friendship. Being a friend to others attracts friend to oneself. 🙂

    • Two of my friends have no one to call on for help. One has moved too far for me to me of much help. The other one has had so many needs lately that I have had trouble keeping up.

  8. Great post and reflective. I don’t offer advice unless asked and then I will only delve into my own experience and how I managed. Very few are looking for solutions, just a friendly ear and sympatico and empathy.
    With new friends I am forever missing the history of the dear old ones, now passed. I’ve lost far too many beloveds.

    I do try but there’s always that missing element. So I find them lacking. The fault is mine.


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