Find your tribe

If you follow me on Facebook, you may have seen this morning’s post with a picture of our latest Ladies Who Lunch gathering. Eight of us showed up on Monday. We have one contrarian who is having problems coming back to the group. She always has something “better” to do than to make the time and commitment to see us.

We always meet on a Monday, usually the second of the month, but now that post-pandemic schedules are clicking in and one of our recent attendees is still teaching, we are being flexible, but still on Mondays. I reached out, one more time, to the one who hasn’t rejoined us, and didn’t get a very good response. She has our next date, time, and place. I’m leaving it there.

We need our friends. We need a tribe. It has become even more evident after the pandemic when we rarely saw each other in person. Now that we are back, face to face, in person, we realize the joy we missed when unable to be in each other’s company. These women friends are hilarious. They are compassionate. Maybe it’s because we are all teachers, we are all older, two are widows, most are grandparents. We are women, hear us laugh. And cry. And complain (but very little, and it’s usually about our own inadequacies).

We reminisce and we look forward to what is next. One of the group came late because she was at a another restaurant celebrating her sister. She brought us the menu and we decided that had to be our next place to lunch. We are always looking for the small, the locally owned, the quirky. She also had to leave early because she had a time scheduled to glaze her latest pottery creations. We are planning to get to her next show.

I hope you all have that group of people who work for you. I actually have a few, from different places who do different things. I think it’s okay to belong to more than one tribe, but whatever you do, find your tribe. It will make a world of difference in how you view the world.

If you haven’t already seen the picture of yesterday’s group, here is the Instagram link.

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13 responses to “Find your tribe

  1. Amen to that. You and many other virtual friends are essential to my sense of well-being and are definitely part of my tribe. 🙂

  2. Such a wonderful time! By coincidence, we’re going to be having breakfast with some long-time friends this weekend. Nice to look forward to. Thanks for sharing!

  3. Elizabeth A Rogers

    I don’t have a gathering tribe, but being a quintessential introvert probably explains it. Like DJan, I think I may have more of a virtual tribe. Perhaps your “contrarian” is one, too–or possibly still super COVID-cautious? You’ve done what you can to let her know the details.

    • I think our online tribes are fabulous. I had a long-time friend connect with me at a funeral after many years of not seeing each other, long before the pandemic, who said, “Delaine, you are so well connected and seem to be thriving in retirement, I really want to pick your brain about what I can do.” I had to laugh, and say I’m not all that connected, but I have LOTS of social media connections who can connect me as needed. So many people are wary of social media, but I love it because I curate my list of people very carefully, and connect with those who bring me joy.

  4. Well, good for you. It’s always important to socialize with good people you truly like.

    • It’s funny, but I’m not the best at socializing. I’m not a party-goer. I don’t attend theater or music productions as I did when younger. If it’s a stand-up event, I can move through the room at a pretty quick pace, checking in with those I know and want to see, and then moving on. I have a friend who says I have the best way of leaving a room, I just disappear.

  5. More and more I realize the people I most want to be with our people with whom I can go deep–sometimes it is people who have been part of my life for a long time and other times it is people new in my life. I may not have a tribe of people who all know each other and come together at the same time, but I have people who are part of my life in unique and loving ways. I so appreciate your appreciation of the women in your life.

    • Different connections for different times and situations…that’s why we need a variety of friends, people we can call on for at different times. I think this is what my reconnected friend meant when she asked to pick my brain about “connections.” She has family and friends but feels the need to expand her circles but not too sure how. We had a two hour phone conversation about this sort of thing. The who, how, where, when…it’s all different for each person. I guess that’s why I titled this post “Find Your Tribe,” we each have to find our own way.

  6. I have a tribe of teacher friends from Illinois who I miss very much. We have a text chat group so we all keep in touch even though I live in Hawaii now. They did not meet during the pandemic, but just had a luncheon a couple weeks ago. I was surprised by a card they sent me where they all wrote little notes during the luncheon and then sent to me. It really made me tear up. I seriously need to get back there.

  7. I’m sorry about that one person who didn’t show up to your gathering. It’s kind of you not to give up on her… yet.

    • I’m thinking that much of her disappearing act goes along with the fact that the rest of us are very liberal and think the former president is a horrible buffoon and she and her family think just the opposite. Why it should matter so much, I cannot say, but it seems to have changed her during the pandemic.

  8. Our teacher group has been friends for decades and have gone out for luncheons or dinners throughout the years. We have two out of the 9 teachers who are extreme conservatives. Therefore, those of us who believe in vaccinations and the craziness of Trump actually have a separate chat line where we vent about politics or COVID. One of those conservative friends actually ordered ivermectin from Canada and refused to be vaccinated. Sigh…

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