Let’s talk

I am having a conversation about talking to people. As you have probably read here, and may have even guessed, I love to talk to people. I connect well, face-to-face. It was hard during the pandemic to lose that ability and only communicate through technology.

A member of a committee, of which I just recently became chairperson, likes the idea of sending letters with requests rather than talking with the person. It’s even suggested to send a self-addressed, stamped envelope so they can just check a box and send their answer back by return mail. I wanted to scream when I heard this. Now, if the person is hard to contact in person, I have nothing against calling them and chatting, even leaving a voice mail. I did a lot of that during the COVID pandemic. And, I am not against sending mail as I just sent three cards yesterday to people who I did not see at church on Sunday, letting them know they were missed.

But…talking face to face is just so much more meaningful to me. I can see facial expressions. I can get an idea while talking and immediately convey it. The person with whom I’m talking can give me opinions and perhaps even send me in a different direction. This happened last Sunday when a member and I were discussing use of her brother’s memorial fund. I shared some information with her that gave her a completely different insight on something she had pondered. We both came away from the conversation feeling warm and fuzzy. A letter does not do that.

Now, I like technology. If you’ve been here for very long, you know how much I love social media and blogging to convey my thoughts and interests. I like to text people when I have a quick question and need a quick answer. Or, even no answer at all, just a way to let them know what’s going on. I am so glad we have the technology to communicate quickly and easily. But, nothing will ever take the place of communicating face to face with another human being.


18 responses to “Let’s talk

  1. I’m glad you like to talk face-to-face. But for introverts, like me, a face-to-face conversation is hard. And even more so as I age, and I sense the relentless creep of aphasia from the Alzheimer’s that is genetically in my future. I enjoy group settings where I can listen to other people’s conversations, but one-on-one is torture.

    • I’m glad you responded as you did. Being someone who talks to everyone, everywhere she goes, I have trouble understanding those who find it painful, but I know there are those who do.

      So, you would prefer emails and texts? Or even a written letter in the mail? Would you respond quickly? Would you add comments, ask questions?

  2. I have a feeling your love and empathy, compassion and connection shines no matter which kind of communication you use.

  3. I’m an introvert like abbiewatters and someone who has always communicated better and more easily in writing than face-to-face, although I have yet to fully master texting. Now that I’m old, hearing can be an issue, even with pricey(!) hearing aids. Large groups or crowds are not my thing. I do better one to one or in a small group. There’s room for both styles, and you do them very well.

    • Large, noisy groups can be very disconcerting. When younger, I could track three conversations at a time and even catch bits and pieces of a couple of others, in a large setting. I always knew what my students were doing and could keep track of everyone in a faculty meeting. That skill has slipped. Now, I can track 2 conversations at a time and the others slip away from me. It’s very troublesome for someone who always knew what was going on in a room.

      I often ask Terry what someone was saying about such and such and he says he didn’t even know the conversation was happening! “What! You were sitting right there!” “yeah, but I wasn’t paying attention.” Ugh!

  4. I fear I am out of practice doing anything face to face, but I do prefer voices to words on a page.

  5. I so agree… though it’s hard anymore to remember to reach out to people during the height of the day, so I find myself sending an e-mail to them at all hours of the night! LOL sometimes my friends would say, “What were you doing up that time of night?” Well, sending you a message, duh! LOL But since my recent heart episode, I no longer have insomnia so had better remember to call people during the day else they’ll never hear from me! LOL On a more serious note, COVID and flu infections are on the rise and I can’t begin to risk getting any kind of infection right now, so electronic messaging is all I’m up for at present.

  6. Drum Major Linda in Kansas

    Wonder if the person suggesting written notes has a hearing loss that makes phone calls scary and words misunderstood. Linda in Kansas

  7. As others have said, there is room for all types of communication.

    Regarding your committee, maybe you could survey the entire group and do whatever the majority decides. Or, if letter-sending turns out to be the preferred option, you can volunteer to follow up in person with those who need it.

  8. I like random chats with oddball people, even if I don’t know them…last week a woman on the bus was complaining about bus shelters, then she said she was going to a community market. So I got off the bus with her and we went there, a short walk from the bus…if I was more local, I would definitely find some of the foodstuffs and oddball creative things coming home with me.

    But I usually keep in contact with some of my “hardly seen realtime network” via messenger. I can share a picture of my creativity real easy – or just wish them a safe and happy day.

    • I would be one of those “oddball” people. We could have a great time chatting on the bus. I always talked to people on public transit while living in San Francisco.

  9. I think it’s a matter of if you’re introverted or extroverted. I REALLY missed having time with friends during the pandemic.

  10. I’ve just decided to change my doctor (GP) because I was tired of phone consults and I needed to get something looked at today, which meant seeing another GP at the clinic. I discussed with him today about becoming one of his patients, and it was a “yes”

    I’ll write about on my blog soon – as I had him laughing in the end..more later!

    • Providence required that I have the permission of my nurse practitioner before I was allowed to change to a new doctor. Seriously. And the new doctor likes to lecture, so that was not a happier choice. I have not seen anyone since well before covid’s arrival.

      • Yikes! Our doctors are part of a large medical group that runs one of the hospitals here in Fresno, therefore we are kept supplied with a physician. Not necessarily one of our own choosing but our prime physician is well connected in town. She connected Terry with his cardiologist and now her husband is his oncologist b/c she knew she could get him right in when she saw things in his liver that looked suspicious. Hope you find just the right one soon.

      • It’s fairly easy to change within clinics here. But like so many current clinics there has been less to chose from. Particularly since covid…

        Mine had the head dude retire, I noticed the migration of particularly female doctors jumping ship.

        I’ve been with a few since I joined the clinic a couple of decades ago…and in fact I was with this one until he moved to their branch…and it wasn’t easy to get there. I took potluck.

        Everything is computerized so any doctor can look at basic facts. Yesterday he seemed “less matter of fact…you do it MY way” kind of thing. Or maybe I’m getting good at saying NO 😀

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