Tag Archives: families

Living along the borders

The Ladies Who Lunch were The Ladies Who Brunch yesterday. We were a small group, only four, because three of the group are traveling. Two are on pleasure trips, and the third is headed to New Mexico for an uncle’s funeral. We changed our time to meet because one of the gals needed to drive to Los Angeles to be with her parents who are in declining health. An older sister is making the big move into the parents’ home to be there for them, something my friend cannot do. These are the border years.

For most of our life, we have all been busy with raising our children, going to our jobs, taking part in the community. The heart of life. Now, though, in retirement, we are seeing the borders of life. Being available to care for grandchildren. The decline, and eventual death of parents. A series of health problems that limit activities. The border activities that we never noticed when we were in the heart of life, busy, successful, creative. Care-giving, decline, illness, loss, fill in the days. Concerns for what the future will hold take precedent over our accomplishments. As we live along the borders, there are fewer successes.

We find delight in small pleasures, like a couple of hours spent with friends over good food. We commiserate with one another about the trials of the border life. We recollect our memories of those inland years, so busy, so productive. We share many of those memories. Now we tread carefully towards the borders where we’ve not been before. A few have gone ahead and tell us what they have seen. We will need energy and stamina, but those seem less and less as we reach the border.

We cannot turn back. We will share our experiences. We will continue to encourage one another.  Together we will find our way along the borders.


No longer at this number

I have had my iPhone and its number since mid-2009. Someone named Ordi had the number before me. I know this because I got so many calls for her after getting the phone. Calls from debt collectors, clients, and even family. It seems that Ordi didn’t update her number with anyone.

As time went on, and I told more and more people she did not have the number any more, the calls decreased. Every year, though, I would get a couple. All of a sudden, in September, I started getting a barrage of calls from insurance companies with quotes and updates for Ordi. Even though my voicemail message clearly outlines whose phone this is and how to contact ME, these companies were leaving messages, left and right, for Ordi, some that even included the insurance details. So much so that I started returning, or answering, the calls, and telling them they had the wrong number. None of them seemed convinced.

Much like Ordi’s family. They too have contacted me, especially her mother, trying to locate Ordi. I really have no idea where the woman is. Her mother kept telling me that this was Ordi’s phone. No, it WAS her number prior to May 2009, but it’s now MY number. Did I have Ordi’s new number? Uh, no.

Today, six and a half years after getting the phone number, I get a text from Ordi’s sister. She wants her father’s cell phone number so she can wish him happy birthday as his birthday is tomorrow. Aaack. The whole family has problems keeping up with each other. I texted back that the number no longer belongs to Ordi and hasn’t since 2009.

Do you think I’ve heard the end of this? I doubt it, but I’m getting an idea of what to do the next time it happens. I’m going to tell the caller that Ordi has gone into witness protection and will never be heard from again.