Tag Archives: fear

Up and at’m again

It’s Monday after a lazy weekend. I’ll describe it as lazy because that sounds better than sad, malcontent, depressed.

I managed to grocery shop and do laundry on Saturday, but then fell on the couch and read my books all afternoon, sitting in a haze of dust. The wood in the room is calling for orange oil. I really should accomplish more. I can’t.

Sunday came early but I could not open my eyes and get out of bed. It was 7 o’clock before I finally joined Terry in the kitchen. He had arisen when the alarm went off, the obedient guy that he is. I was leaving an hour later than him for church so didn’t feel guilty.

After chairing the deacon’s meeting at church, I came home and again sat on the couch all afternoon reading from my stack of books. Finally, shaking myself free of the comfort of my couch cushions, I went outside, and although the sky was sunless, the temperature was warm, the air fragrant. I raked leaves, pulled some weeds and made a hasty retreat back inside to figure out something for dinner.

I spent much of the weekend hours thinking about the trump supporters. Reading about the proposed budget. Seeing a mean response on a blog. I’m trying to understand the thinking of our citizens who think the president is so great when I can barely tolerate his weird behavior. It has put me in such a funk.

After reading articles and books and even talking with my hairdresser, I am seeing how his supporters think; not why, though. For some reason, they see themselves as unsafe in this land. They believe they are losing, or have lost, something. Yet, they are well off, they have an abundance. Why is sharing that so terrible for them? They keep saying, “we shouldn’t be supporting illegal immigrants.” But they don’t say how that is hurting them.

The mean blog response talked about how our children will be crippled by the national debt. But no explanation as to what that looks like. The responder also wants parents to take care of their children and not accept government help. Well, that would be nice, if possible. It just isn’t for everyone.

This is the conclusion I presently have about trump supporters: they are afraid for their safety and they don’t want immigrants and/or poor people getting any government aid.  It’s the best I can do for now. This will be a busy week and I have to get my head in the game to do the work I am called to do. I am not fearful for my safety, and because I have an abundance, I am willing the share.

What’s your passion?

Just read this list of ways to figure out your passion in life. I am going to give you my answers, in italics.

What puts a smile on your face?
Following what makes you truly happy is a wonderful way to figuring out what you were put on Earth for. Think about something that you do or that perhaps you used to do that brings you total happiness!

I love to talk to people, to meet new people, to ask them about themselves, to learn about people. It makes me smile when I can help someone solve a problem they are having.

What do you find easy?
What we find easy for us to do, will be related to what we are passionate about. It’s very hard to hate something that is very easy for us!

It’s easy for me to talk to people. It’s easy for me to get up in front of a large group and talk.  It’s easy for me to strategize. It’s easy for me to multitask. 

What sparks your creativity?
Think about something in your life where you seem to always expand its horizon, always coming up with new, fun, and exciting ideas relating to that subject. Whatever makes you creative is something that you are passionate about.

Taking photos from different angles. Taking photos of things many people would pass by. Using my photos with my stories. Talking to people and hearing their stories.

What would you do for free?
Think about something that you would just love to do, even if you were not getting paid. Think about something that you look forward to do, something that you wish you could do all the time.

I love to write, tell stories, take photos, meet new people. I enjoy walking the streets of a big city, a small town, looking for the quirky. Working right now on a book layout of pictures and stories, for free. 

What do you like to talk about?
Most of the time, we aren’t aware of this. A good way to figure this out properly, is to ask your friends. Ask them what they believe you like to talk about the most, what topic makes your eyes brighten up, and changes your entire behaviour.

I love to talk about my grandchildren (which probably drives people crazy). I like to ask people about their lives and what they are doing. I enjoy discussing good books and how the stories relate to our lives.

What makes you unafraid of failure?
When you do what you are passionate about, you have total confidence in your abilities. This makes you not worry about failing, because in your mind, how can you fail when you do what you love?

Failure is always in the back of my mind. This one I have trouble with. I guess the best area I’m not too worried about failing in is taking photos. I can always delete the ones I don’t like.

What would you regret not having tried?
If you were at the end of your life, what would you regret not having pursued? What would you have liked to do, that you didn’t get a chance to?

Here I feel so fortunate. I always wanted a studio apartment in San Francisco, overlooking a street. For 15 months I got to do that. I would go back in a heartbeat. I also get to spend time with my grandchildren which gives me great joy. I would be sad to know I lived without getting that opportunity. I am truly thankful that I was able to retire at such a young age and enjoy doing things on my own time.

And since I love adding some pictures to my posts, here are some of my SF neighborhood: