Connections in dystopian times

Early in the pandemic people would talk of their vivid dreams that seem to have been brought on by the shut down. Although I wondered about that, I knew my dreams were their usual. Lots of dreaming, mostly un-remembered upon awakening, but nothing out of the ordinary. Now, almost a year into the pandemic, but only days away from the insurrection at the Capitol, my dreams not only have shifted, but are well remembered when I awake.

I will not go into the dreams themselves because I never could understand people talking about their dreams as if they are something that arrive from another place. It’s all in our head. It’s all in our imaginations. Something in our brain is triggered to come up with that particular scenario. That’s what has occurred recently with me. Conversations have triggered memories.

A lengthy conversation on Monday with the Ladies Who Zoom brought up friends who have passed away. We talked about how people can prepare for their final years and make things easier on those we leave behind. We talked about estate sales to clean out houses full of a life’s detritus. I wish I had done that with a friend’s home after she died without family and only two friends, one being me. I’m smarter, nine years later.

A usual topic these past few months, the pandemic, was again discussed on Monday with the Ladies Who Zoom. Although none of us have gotten the virus, family and friends have. All five of us who had gathered online can hardly wait until we can see each other in person. We will go to lunch at a favorite downtown spot. A new gallery has opened during the pandemic so we want to go there to see what the new owner has done with a hundred year old building. But until is safe, and we all have our vaccinations, we will continue to zoom.

There are two of the group who refuse to zoom. They are being left out, left behind, and we wonder if they will be able to rejoin us when we do meet in person. The five of us talked about how much we enjoy these gab sessions, and how technology has kept us all in touch. How terrible to lose precious time with friends. And that reminded me of the last five years of a friend who has died. Her husband demanded so much of her time as he had remains of shingles. He didn’t want her to leave the house and not be available for his every beck and call. She didn’t even have time for a phone call because the husband would call for her to do something for him. Now that she is gone, he is doing just fine. And I will never get those five years back.

Those friends who have died have been on my mind, and thus in my dreams. These are precious times, we have no idea how long any of us have. I would recommend you call your friends and do video chats. Check in with people who you haven’t seen in awhile. Stay in contact so that when we have some semblance of normalcy there will be people there for you. We all need people more than we need regrets.

11 responses to “Connections in dystopian times

  1. Sad that friends do pass away. You are left only with memories.

    • I have some wonderful photos with my two long time friends. We traveled together. Went to our kids’ weddings and other celebrations. Ate in one another’s homes. I really miss all of that and wish I could go back and do it all again.

  2. I am a lady whose friends keep dying off. I sure do miss them.

  3. Hear! Hear!
    I have friends like that……ones who are with it and ones who aren’t. And of course ones who have gone and are dearly missed.

  4. What a great reminder to make (and do our best to) keep connections. We never know when those connections will be severed.

  5. I agree on the dreams. Mine are quite vivid and do involve dead friends but not in a bad way. I analyze dreams as a hobby (for others) and lately I’ve been able to analyze my own.

    Zoom is amazing (when it works but not Zoom’s fault, my provider is rubbish)

    XO
    WWW

    • Our connection is often glitchy because there are so many on our block on the internet at one time. We have many homes where the kids are online for school and the parents are working from home.

  6. Funny that you write about dreams — I dream in full color, and as my husband puts it, my dreams are epic novels! LOL Sometimes I’m so deep into the dream that when I wake, it’s hard to get fully awake because I’m still feeling the emotions of the situation I was in while asleep. Sometimes, if the dream is very strong, remnants of it will creep into my thoughts during the day. So strange…

  7. My teachers group have been texting each other throughout the pandemic. However, sadly, two are Trump supporters and asked to be excluded. It’s sad that they are not part of us since they are good friends. I’ve always had weird dreams so I guess they haven’t been any weirder during the pandemic.

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